How a Gentle Spirit Silences Contention

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Sam Allberry
Welcome back to you’re not crazy. It’s so good to have you with us. Thank you for joining us. We’re going to be thinking a lot in this episode about the quarrelsome spirit and how to avoid that in our in our Christian lives and leadership. And we’re going to be highlighting a book by an author, I’m sure many of our listeners will know. Well, he is a very prolific author, which is a great thing because what he writes is, is fantastic but crossway have published LEED 12 gospel principles for leadership in the church by Paul David Tripp. It’s a really significant book. So we’ll talk about that at the end of the episode.

Ray Ortlund
Welcome back to you’re not crazy gospel sanity for young pastors. I’m recording them with my friend Sam Albury, by the way, guys, every book Sam has written every opportunity, you have to hear him preach and teach. Take my advice, and take full advantage of Sam’s ministry. Sam is an apologist for the gospel in this generation, and a wise pastor for this generation. And he has a lot to offer you. So, Sam, thanks for being a part of this podcast. Thanks,

Sam Allberry
Ray. You read that word for word when I gave you that? Perfect.

Ray Ortlund
Oh, gosh. You’re wonderful. And you’re ridiculous. A second Timothy chapter two, verses 14 through 26. A bit more lengthy than we’ve sort of thought our way through before. But this is actually hard for me to talk about this passage in Second Timothy precisely because it is so relevant to our generation today. And I don’t know what else we can do. But just put right out on the table. Our responses, our observations, our takeaways from this, this very pastoral wise, fatherly voice warning us away from one ministry style, and guiding us toward another ministry. Mo. Yeah. So let’s just jump in what stands out to you about our passage here for young pastors.

Sam Allberry
It is, it is so practical, Paul is living in exactly the same reality that we are. We just haven’t apparently changed since the time this was written. So it’s evergreen. I mean, it feels like you could have written this, you know, right now with social media and all of its dysfunction. I think the thing that diverse struck me was in verse 14, we’ve just had this this sort of sequence of affirmations about Christ and this kind of poetic, saying trustworthy, saying in verses 11 to 13, he says, remind them of these things, which you’d expect, yeah, these are some big doctrinal kind of markers, and charge them before God, not to call about words, he goes straight into, up there with, you know, remind them of these key foundational truths is make sure people don’t quarrel about words. So it’s interesting that that he anticipates that being such a ready kind of trap we will fall into. We need to assume that quarrelsome spirit is much closer to us, and we think it is, yeah, we might be there’s always someone else who’s more quarrelsome, that you can point to and say, Well, I’m not like that person. But Paul is putting this in such a way that I think means we have to assume we are far more prone to this. This is closer to home than we might realize it is.

Ray Ortlund
Last week, I read the homily and in the first book of homilies, against contention and brawling tennis but the pic of holidays, and that’s found well in the as the Reformation was unfolding in England. The tragedy was that the pastors in the churches were so underdeveloped under invested in, they were not able to preach. So the leaders of the Reformation actually wrote out sermons that the pastors could read in their churches so that the people would be served and instructed, built up and fed. And so those are the homilies, and, and here was a matter of such urgency in the eyes of the English reformers. They said, We have to help everybody to get for this movement of reformation to stay healthy. We’ve got to warn ourselves against a spirit of contention and a spirit of brawling. I’m really struck. I’m solemnized. By this passage, many passages in Scripture and in second Timothy are so uplifting and so fun. This is sobering. He says, For example, in verse 16, avoid irreverence to babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness their talk will spread like gangrene. I noticed in Jerome’s Latin translation he calls it cancer. This is the opposite of the sound words, the healthy words of the gospel. There is, as you’ve said, already, Sam, just sort of like a wildfire across our social landscape right now fed by social media. A kind of bloodlust for argumentation. Yeah. disagreement, winning arguments proving you’re wrong. So I’m proving I’m right, yeah, exposing bad people punishing, stigmatizing bad thinking, and so forth. That is, we are the people who need Paul’s solemn fatherly warning here. So the two things that stand out here in Second Timothy 214, through 16, are, on the one hand, the folly of a contentious spirit. But then the positive alternative, on the other hand, the wisdom of a gentle spirit. And I’m so struck by that, Sam, it is possible for us, this frightens me, it’s possible for me to preach the gospel, the true gospel with such a wrong spirit, that I actually end up unsettling. What I’m saying. Yeah, without realizing it.

Sam Allberry
Yeah, I’m I’m very struck by Well, A, Paul has already told us to follow the pattern of sound words that He has given to Timothy. Words are that powerful, and therefore we can expect the wrong kinds of words to be equally powerful in the other direction. And so much of the warnings in this section are about ill chosen words, irreverent babble controversies, quarrelsome pneus, he’s assuming a lot of the mistakes will make your verbal mistakes, which shouldn’t surprise us words are designed to have powerful effects. So that that is, I think, noteworthy. The other thing that strikes me is we, we have such an established category of in our minds of how you abandon the faith, by false doctrine. Paul is showing us you can abandon the faith by being quarrelsome, you can abandon the faith and your behavior, even while you’re still signing the doctrinal, you know, confession of faith and you know, affirming sound theology. If you’re exhibiting the kind of spirit here, you can be abandoning the faith just by your conduct.

Ray Ortlund
And you and I, in this podcast are not saying that abandoning the faith is not a problem. What we’re saying is, it’s actually a bigger problem than perhaps we have taken into account. Yeah, I wrote in my margin here. I just don’t see in my circles, adequately serious consideration of the warnings here in our passage. We are not alarmed by these dangers, the danger of contention and fighting and so forth. disputing spirit. Yeah, we are not alarmed by these dangers, as Paul was. We are alarmed only by defections from the truth, not realizing that a contentious spirit is a defection from the truth.

Sam Allberry
Yes. I’ve, you know, we’ve all seen examples of pastors being fired for sexual sin, or for being bullies or for denying the truth. We haven’t seen I’ve never seen maybe it’s happened. I’ve never heard of it. I’ve not seen a pastor being fired for being quarrelsome online. Wow. But they, that should be a criteria that is disqualifying. And I’m not saying that from a position of this is something I would never have any problem with at all. I’ve I’ve posted things I’ve regretted I’ve, I’ve asked two of our elders at a manual to keep a close look on my social media and to let me know if there’s ever anything they think is right. This is this is something any of us is very capable of.

Ray Ortlund
That’s why it’s in the Bible. Yeah. But it’s that

Sam Allberry
it’s that important. It’s not well, he’s a great preacher. And yeah, he can be a bit a bit much on social media. Now, if someone has been quarrelsome, and disputatious, that is a very serious sign, that they’re not a spiritually healthy person in a position of ministry. Wow.

Ray Ortlund
Well, Paul characterizes this folly as a youthful passion. shown in verse 22, Flee youthful passions, or earlier translations used to say Flee youthful lusts. And I grew up assuming that he’s talking about sexuality, but it’s not. He’s the youthful passion he’s referring to here is the childish, soft Mourik. Lust for debate.

Sam Allberry
Yes. And if one kind of stereotype we have is the grumpy old man, the stereotype we’re less aware of is the is the bolshie, sparring, cage fighting young man, that that zeal and energy is so often, easily kind of miss channeled,

Ray Ortlund
you know, when I sort of discovered Reformed theology in the decades ago, and just, I believe Sam, Reformed theology, just as ideas are incredibly exciting. Yeah, they’re exciting ideas, big ideas, comprehensive. It’s a paradigm shift. It’s a whole worldview, and my young mind coming alive to ideas themselves, I was captivated by Reformed theology. And I think more often than I ever realized, I was dishonouring, that very theology, the heart of which is the grace of God. I was the in the gracious and merciful initiative of God toward the undeserving. I was dishonouring, that very theology and annoying other people, perhaps even harming them by advancing that theology, with youthful passions. Yeah, a total lack of self awareness. Now, that’s one of the regrets I have in life. And so Paul is speaking to all of us here, and pastor, young pastor, wherever you are on that discovery of the truth of Scripture, and wherever you are in your own growth and maturation and so forth. I’m sure you can agree with Sam with me, that the apostle Paul is not wasting his breath, as he warns us against a spirit of contention. Yeah. Now, on the other hand, Paul says, but so Flee youthful passions, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the name of the Lord from a pure heart. There is a fellowship of sacred pursuits. A fellowship that takes theology seriously loves theology, relishes, theology, loves to open up the Bible, and, and share insights and so forth, loves to read significant books, and, and loves the truth of God. And simultaneously, precisely because of the reverence with which we regard the gospel. We preach and teach that and write about it and tweet about it and post about it with the very beauty that is in that Gospel itself.

Sam Allberry
I’m struck in the midst of this discussion, Paul says in verse 16, sorry, verse 15, you know, present yourself to God as one approved a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. We are very conscious, there is such a thing as wrongly handling the word of truth, it matters how we handle scripture, it’s very, very consequential. But rightly handling the word of truth, should be the very thing that leads us away from from being contentious and frivolous in the things that we say because the very act of rightly handling the Bible is, is it it does sober us as you that word you used earlier at Salah Mises us. The last people who should be quarrelsome, and fractious and divisive are people who are rightly handling the word of truth. That’s right, but in our sinfulness we can turn rightly handling the word of truth into a badge of honor and a form of superiority and become quarrelsome, against everyone else who’s not handling it quite as rightly as we are. Well, it’s

Ray Ortlund
a way of building a platform. It is.

Sam Allberry
And, you know, I think this has been a weakness in, in the broader Christian movement I’ve come out of we were so blessed by preachers like Dick Lucas, who helped us realize God’s Word doesn’t need to be rightly handled. But I think sometimes it led to a pride where we thought we are the ones who’ve got the Bible, right? And it gave us less charity and grace towards others. Whereas really rightly handing the word of truth means that we’re being humbled by it.

Ray Ortlund
I’m really struck by that verse to Sam do your best to present yourself to God? Yeah, do your best so there’s an eagerness an active mu Moving toward God I wrote over here in my margin. Truly Orthodox, accurate preaching and teaching begins with my own self presentation to God. It doesn’t begin with study. It doesn’t begin with winning an audience, not with gaining a following and impressive invitations but with my own reverence, humility, and worship. I’m really struck by this language, do your best to present yourself to God? Am I, the kind of man, the kind of Pastor, preacher and teacher that can be trusted with the blessing of God? Or what I end up corrupting the blessing of God? That requires restraint, self awareness, humility, and gentleness.

Sam Allberry
That verse as I read it, one of the ways it rebukes me is present yourself to God has been approved. I think I’m still seeking the approval of so many other people. You know, I’m presenting myself to all kinds of mental audiences in order to be approved by them. i Yeah. You know, I don’t like people thinking of me, I don’t like the idea. There are people out there who think I’m unsound or, you know, and it’s easy to want to have everyone else’s approval. But Paul knew that. Even though everyone else had had turned away from him, if you have the Lord’s approval, you can live with everyone else’s disapproval. If it comes,

Ray Ortlund
we don’t want that. But when we have to choose, as inevitably at times we do, yeah. Which was God,

Sam Allberry
which reminds me something you said before I knew you talk about it in the book we have coming out. Paul’s approach to pleasing others just share that that insight you’ve you’ve written about?

Ray Ortlund
Well, I’m so struck that in First Corinthians 10, Paul says, I try to please everyone in everything I do. What? That’s amazing, the man was a teddy bear, when it came to relationships with people. He he looked at at the human race. And his whole point is he’s now looking at the nations. And everywhere he goes in the mission field, from one end of the Roman Empire to the other, and different human situations, different cultures, different expectations, he tried to be sensitive and to adapt, so that he would not create an unnecessary impediment to the advance of the gospel. But then in Galatians, chapter one, Paul says, you know, he comes up with these strong statements if you don’t preach the gospel, accurately, anathema. And he says, Am I now trying to please people? If I were trying to please people, I would not please the Lord. So when Paul had a choice between pleasing others, and pleasing himself, he chose to please others. When he had a choice between was faced with a choice between pleasing others and pleasing Christ, he chose Christ. But himself, he always put last,

Sam Allberry
yeah, that is so profound.

Ray Ortlund
You know, and I’m struck to, by verses 20 and 21, here in Second Timothy, to Sam, because these are two of the most important verses in the Bible. For me personally, they’re never far from my mind. He says, Now in a great house. So he paints the picture of a palatial mansion, up on a hill outside town, and that’s the Christian church. Because a lot of people live there. In a great house, there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, and some for dishonorable. So, off the kitchen in this great big, lovely house, there’s a pantry, shelves, lining the walls, and there are silver serving dishes, maybe even some gold plate and so forth. And there are wooden bowls, and clay pots and everything for different locations. Therefore, he says, If anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable now, what I love about that, Sam is all he’s asking me to let go of, is what I don’t want anyway. What is dishonorable? What is low? What is the nature of compromise, self intelligence, and so forth? And by the way, I’m looking at the words, cleanses himself, if my theology is so reformed, that I can’t let the Bible tell me to cleanse myself by God’s grace, that I need to agree with the Bible against my theology. Yeah, but I’m grateful for the word anyone. If anyone, however messy, it might be If anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable he will be a vessel for honorable use. Set apart is wholly useful to the master the house ready for every good work, like, ready for every good work like one of these multi tools. Yeah, it has all kinds of you know jack knife blades and screwdrivers and you had your Omni competent, ready for every good work. That doesn’t mean the Lord is going to use you in every way. But you’re ready. So here’s the master the house, the risen Lord Jesus Christ walks into the kitchen, there’s a special occasion coming, he wants to get ready for it. There’s the pantry, he walks in the pantry and he says, I need something special. Let’s see. He’s looking around, you know what the different utensils there? And he says, oh, there that that one is just right for this occasion. He reaches out, takes it off the shelf and go uses it. I want to be ready. Here. When the Lord walks in, and he says I’ve got something I want to accomplish. I need a vessel fit for noble use. Sam, I want to be ready.

Sam Allberry
And I’m really just so helpful. Right? Because it it reminds me that what makes us ready isn’t our ministerial prowess and our you know what other people think of us. It’s cleansing ourselves from what is dishonorable? Yes, if we’re if we’re giving ourselves to that we will be so usable by the Lord. So much of I’m seeing already this theme in Second Timothy, at the very point where we’re often tempted to trust trust in fleshly capacities. We’re being brought back to basic Christian character. Wow, the spirit of of power and love and self control. Rather than you know, you can steamroll anyone into Oh my anything, whatever it might be.

Ray Ortlund
Sam, that is so important. Basic Christian, obvious basics. Sam, if we want to be ready for tomorrow, whatever God has in store, that’s where we need to go and stay. Yeah.

Sam Allberry
Which is again, verse 22. So Flee youthful persons. And you’ve already helped us to see what those are, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace. Along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. Those are there’s things that we return away from, and there are things that we turn to, there are things that we mortified, and there are things that we aspire towards. Pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace, we tend to pursue platforms recognition, importance, comfort, money. But as you were to pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace. And I love that he adds along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart as a sort of sense of, you’re not the only one around here. You know, there’s, there’s others around there too.

Ray Ortlund
That’s a great point.

Sam Allberry
You’re part of a, there’s a

Ray Ortlund
verse 24 is a prophetic word to our generation, the Lord’s servant, and immediately we think of Isaiah and the prophecies of Jesus himself. The Lord servant must not, must not musc must not be quarrelsome, but kind to everyone. Francis Schaeffer used to say if I have a one hour conversation with a liberal theologian, I want him significant conversation. I want him to leave with two equally clear impressions. One, Francis Schaeffer disagrees with him. To Francis Schaeffer cares about him. Sounds good. Yeah, but kind to everyone able to teach patiently enduring evil, not patiently paying evil back, yeah, but absorbing it. correcting his opponents with gentleness, not body slamming them with the perfect put down. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth. So it seems Paul seems to be connecting our department toward very trying people who are truly wrong. Our department toward them, our attitude toward them, the way we treat them, do we dignify them or shame them? Do we push them away or pull them in and connects that with their opportunity to repent? Yeah,

Sam Allberry
I’m so this is so countercultural for us because culturally we live in a time where you agree with someone and are there thereby their friend or you disagree with them and thereby you reject them? What we You don’t have a category for in the world today and sadly often in the church is disagreeing with someone in a way that’s kind and friendly. Yes. Which is what Paul’s talking about here. We’re not to there’s there’s one part of us that doesn’t want to correct anyone for anything because that feels Yes, just too much conflict, too much confrontation, or those people who love to correct people without gentleness. So I think it’s so telling the portal that we do have to do correct in at times, but with gentleness because actually, there’s a positive intent. We are longing for in that correction. That God might perhaps, Grant repentance and I don’t know where I got this from, I doubt I had the wits to make this up. Some I’ll assume I heard this somewhere else. But it’s it stayed with me and helped me in some very conflict situations. But the idea is, always make it easy for someone to do the right thing. Oh, that’s really good. So if someone does need to be corrected, or to repent, let’s bring that to them in a way that makes it as easy as possible for them to do the right thing rather than adding additional barriers, because now not only do they need to repent to the Lord, but you know, it’s going to be a pride swallowing ordeal to have to come back to us after what we’ve said to them. You know,

Ray Ortlund
I’ve seen you do that, Sam. I’ve seen you demonstrate that wisdom.

Sam Allberry
So I hope so

Ray Ortlund
say it’s very, actually, it’s very impressive. Very surprising. I have this wonderful, brief quote from Francis Shaffers. Book, the mark of the Christian. And he said, We should never come to differences with true Christians without regret, and without tears. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Believe me, evangelicalism have not often shown it, we rush in being very pleased it would seem to find other men’s mistakes, we build ourselves up by tearing others down. This can never show a real oneness among Christians. There is only one kind of man, one kind of pastor who can fight the Lord’s battles in anywhere near a proper way. And that is the pastor who by nature is unbelievable aren’t the pastor who finds conflict distasteful, not unthinkable, but his very careful, a belligerent man tends to enter into conflict because he is belligerent, at least it looks that way. The world must observe that when we must differ with each other, we do it not because we love the smell of blood, the smell of the arena, the smell of the bullfight. But because we must, for the Lord’s sake, if there are tears, when we must speak, then something beautiful, can be observed. I think Sam are our only real path into the future is marked by beauty. Yeah, not by winning. Stott, in his commentary says, we would be wise to ask ourselves regarding every kind of teaching, both what its attitude is toward God and what its effect and what effect it has on people. There is invariably something about error, which is dishonouring to God and damaging to people. The truth, on the other hand, always honors God promotes godliness, and always edifies its hearers. It builds them up in faith, love and holiness. That’s the ministry. Second Timothy is calling us to, and is simultaneously I’m so struck by this warning us against many ministry strategies that might appear to work short term. Yeah. But calling us back, as you said, to the basics of character, the basics of orthodoxy and relationships and communication of gentleness, as you said, making it as easy as possible for the person who’s in the wrong to come around and join hands with us again. Yeah. Okay. Go ahead. Well, I

Sam Allberry
was gonna wrap things up better. All right.

Ray Ortlund
So let’s the better. Well,

Sam Allberry
I was just saying, you know, with all of this in mind, you know, when we mentioned our friends across, we’re not simply paying the bills and, you know, checking boxes we we genuinely, with all of our heart, revere the work crossway does they are such a blessing to us. We wanted to mention and to commend Paul Tripps book lead. You’ve come you must have known Paul for a while. How would you describe Paul’s ministry? Yes,

Ray Ortlund
Paul is a sage He is a profound and wise man who knows the Lord with such insight that he knows where the landmines are. And he also knows where the green pastures and the still waters are. And you can lead us away from the landmines and into the green pastures. And beside the still waters. Paul is I have never listened to Paul or read anything by Paul, that didn’t help me significantly. Yeah, he’s he’s an amazing resource. crossways publishing publication of his book, lead is is ideal for an elder team to read through together. And it

Sam Allberry
ties in so much with the passage we’ve just been looking at the subtitle of the book is, it’s called lead 12 gospel principles for leadership in the church. And Paul is so good at identifying those subtle fleshly ways that we try and further God’s God’s kingdom and the gospel cause so we would commend that book to you. We would commend Paul to you he also I think, has the best facial hair in the Christian world today. Historically, epic moustache. Yes, that thing will be unchanged in the new creation, it needs to know. No further improvement. Thanks. As always, thanks for listening. It is such a privilege to have this time with you. We’re grateful to not only to crossway for sponsoring this but to TGC for hosting this podcast and for for all that they’re doing for us as well. Thank you.